I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
