Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
