This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
