They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
