You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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