On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
