I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we're making bets on your personal life
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
