you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
