yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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