Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
