He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
