OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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