I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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