i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do vagina's smell?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
