I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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