Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
