Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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