I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
