I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
