so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
