she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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