They should really pass out barf bags in church
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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