awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
