Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
