i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Randomize
