just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
