You really coming over, don't trick.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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