when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
