We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
