I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
