I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
