i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
