I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
