Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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