He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
