Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
