So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
