will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Terrible idea I love it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
