He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
