I could have mohawked her pubes.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
