This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
This couple is walking their pig around campus
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
