Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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