How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
