is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
