we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
