No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
