Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
