i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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