3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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