WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
