Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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