Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
