I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Still dying that you shit outside
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
