your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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