All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
