i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
