Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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